We wish for the growth, for the resources. We wish to be at the top of our game, this game called Life. We are tryin to get there, to a new phase, to a different reality. Although I remember wishing once for the reality I have today. I wished to be here, to live here and now I lack something else.
Does we reach to the point where we just feel complete without trying ? I’m afraid no!
There is a stillness to life which I feel scared to accept sometimes. What if I like it more than I should? We are slow learners, life gives us time with every new day after day . We procrastinate, & meanwhile the compass moves, our focus shifts to smaller tiny things. That's the beauty of tiny things. They make us & then they take everything away from us. We build (at least we try) the same thing like everybody else & yet expect something different, we expect the freedom to sit back & relax & watch the Sun go up and down & really feel the time passing. We think we are doing what one is supposed to do when it's alive? But what if our own mind is playing with us? We can never break the boundaries we set for ourselves. And no matter how many logical reasons we have that shows us as practical or responsible, we are trapped by our own mind, & yet it tells us that we are free and we believe it...
Nobody teaches us to be us. Not school, not college, not job. It makes us capable enough to communicate, reason & feed ourselves! One phase of life ends and we enter a new one, we adapt. We try to be our true versions, we try to find ourselves in each new phase & yet when one thing doesn't go our way, I feel lost. We have all our happy memories in a bundle in our minds & I can feel more such tiny memories adding to it whenever I am living a new happy loving shared experience in the present time. My mind tells me then - Its present now, be here, this will all be in the past tomorrow or after an hour for that matter.
We want to be best, we want to be different, we want & want. We want money and careers today. We want a family of our own. We want a smiling picture perfect life. Every new day combined makes this life so grateful to be breathing, to have people & to share love and affection with them. We make innumerable connections unknowingly & without even trying in this life, when most of our efforts go into our daily activities. Life by default has given us what we need to be alive, we just can't see it all the time!
It was a boon to be able to travel. The world is dominated, so is the time today . Isn’t time what we want plenty? Isn’t time what we blame on for our fewer accomplishments?
We look forward to a tomorrow more zestfully than we live the today. We are always positively waiting for the tomorrow that’s yet to come.
..& then this nightmare his us all!
We can not travel freely.
We can not work freely.
We can not meet our loved ones.
We can not roam around outside.
But humans found a way. We are very good at pretending to be above the waters even when the whole world is sinking. So we found ways to grow & flourish even in these times. We are technically fighting time.
Are we winning?
Few of us are & few of us would think that they aren’t! But both the groups of people credit or blame it on the “time” today.
Doesn’t everyone breathe for the same 24hours of a day?
You are coward to find love and happiness in your surroundings instead of yourself. People come, people go, they change like seasons do. Who you think you need might actually need you for feeling their own worth. But you are coward enough to accept it as true because you fear the people will abandon you.
You are coward to be afraid of not being loved back by those who you pour your heart out to. This is an everyday struggle for all the human connection one makes. You are coward to need love from an outside source.
You are coward to live through it, live through life while thinking that you owe your life to your family or friends, when in reality you are afraid to cause them this misery. You are afraid to leave them with the limited memories of you and an empty space in their chest.
You are coward to build your own fort, so you learn & try to do what has been done before. You follow, you research – eliminating that doesn’t suit you. But don’t you think that in this process you can also eliminate what could have proved to be relevant for you?
Yet, you are too coward to invest that time because you are running a race & you don’t want to be left behind. So you follow the timeline made by the society. Now who is this society? (Society is an imaginary family that everyone has from birth. It can be compared with that “self destructive” part of your mind that you suppress all your life & which wishes you no good because it just cannot.)
But you are a coward to stand against it and it’s not your fault. That’s how you have been wired.
You are a coward to be living in peace with it.
You are coward to remain a part of the crowd. You believe that you have a goal to achieve, deeds to do and serve the world, that your existence can make a difference. So you exist!
Are you coward enough to not kill yourself or brave enough to live?
I was asked what have I learnt from watching all the TV shows that I have ever seen. It made me think. One of my friend also suggested that I should review a show recently watched. So here it is…
I binge watch! I lay wide awake all night long until either my phone’s battery is down or it’s morning. I guess my body’s system has changed now. It thinks it’s supposed to be resting when the Sun is out. I have screwed it up. (Shit, how to go back in time?)
Moving back to the topic- What do you learn from the millions of lives? What do you learn from the minds that create stories & keep you connected with it throughout? Can the stories of the different “God’s” be one of these too, someone’s creation afterall?
I think the shows make you live different lives even when that’s not the reality. They help you experience what you have never had. There’s exposure to different culture, people, food, health conditions, present scenarios, design, music & ofcourse the story of the millions!
I am an Interior Designer by profession, & one of my mentor once explained to me the relationship between the kind of food, the type of clothing, the category of music & the style of architecture. Everything changes with a change in any one of it. People’s taste change. Their choices are determined by their needs. What we have in our lives, in the society, and in the world in general is often overlooked. So it is depicted in the TV shows for us to actually realize and see it.
We do always hear it in the News, read it on the paper. But does it seep deep inside? Or do you remember and understand it better once you have watched it as a medium of your entertainment?
The world today needs love, in it’s purest form, like of a mother for her newbie. Love has all the feelings. It is all you need for survival, rest follows. The food for your soul. You meet people, make relations, and then they die. All of this only to understand a feeling. You re-live the good & the bad from the memories that remain & the colorful photographs…
The world is on the verge to end. People are dying everyday, people who we know are dying. It hits hard then.
The world is unsafe. There’s a blurry tomorrow that I see. There’s a life with a will to live, dreams to achieve, but no time.
The world is cruel. We fight for love, we fight for equality, & today we are fighting for Life.
The world is rich, yet there is hunger & illiteracy. The pandemic continues to spread.
The world has faith. So the people continue to harm the community in the name of God. They continue to mingle & spread the germs to those who are trying really hard to stay safe.
The world has power. It has the money. It has the technology. It understands what a pandemic means. It knows the scare it has brought. But it wants to stay on the top, so it loses lives, millions of lives, leaving trillions of people affected.
The world wants a story. It is heartbreaking. The leaders we have, the laws we abide by, the country we live in & the religion we follow – all of these which we never got to choose defines our life. We believe that we write our own story. Huh! We are mere actors, playing parts of this pre-written world’s history.
Yet, I have hope. I have it on the fact that the world existed long before I came & it will continue to exist long after I go. So I hope to wake up everyday, to have my loved ones around me & to have a good health because I am cautious. So I hope… That’s all the useful wealth left.
Childhood was a bliss, to be that naive beings with more life in every breath than the number of stars in the night sky.
How will the world end? I wouldn’t be here to see it. Are the stories of the origin even true? Your own mind can play games with you. You wouldn’t know what’s real, or where your belief system comes from. All that you have is what you read, hear, or are told.
Y’day morning, I sat down & brushed my teeth feeling well rested after waking up. It was something that existed until I was in middle school, never had the time after that.
I often regret not working out, not being fit enough & not making the time for it. I got it now. In these times of crisis, there is so much that could be accomplished. We run (figuratively) everyday, we run a race the track of which is invisible to us. We say “That’s Life!” & continue moving.
Is that actually the way you wanna live? I don’t.
I make a choice everyday. I choose what’s important today & move forward. But what I actually crave for isn’t that choice. It’s a part of it. (It’s not the present time either, to be clear). A little bit of everything into everyday- that’s it.
Oh, I didn’t know it. But I do now. So you will too.
When I was a kid, I used to plan the next day before going to bed. Don’t remember much about that time anyway. But that’s not always true today. Is it good, is it bad? That’s not important to me. My only focus is on what needs to be changed today; for me to have the today & the tomorrow I want.
The unknown will reveal itself.
Do you make it? Or does it find you?
I think it finds us when we do things consistently, everyday.
I recently have learnt a lot about roads, air traffic & railway lines using Google Maps, ofcourse! A friend helped. The path of life looks a lot like railway tracks, many joining into one. There’s a separate area for resting vehicles, that can be our home in case of life. & Only few breathing bodies lead, or shine at a given moment of time, so that’s the main route of the train which is on it’s way to somewhere.
The important part here is that “every train gets to it’s main route, which is definitely the longest & the shiniest, rest all is the journey”. & We have often heard people say, “Although the goal is to reach at the top, but the journey is what makes it all worth remembering/talking about”.
There’s always two ways. First, do it & crib along the path. Second, love it since you are already doing it. Whichever option you choose, be happy with it.
I read somewhere, “Destiny is a series of your own choices.” It stuck with me. I have read the Secret. There’s only one thing in it, one sole meaning that’s explained for every phase of life, be it a relationship, or personal health, or finance related. “Thoughts become Things.” Oh, these 3 words are deep af!
I read an article in the newspaper (March 11,2020) – “Faith healing plea to stop dreaded virus”. I can’t really know or prove or say that it is the only way to stop COVID 19, but there is a greater power & we are all working as per that. It’s a belief thing. PERIOD.
My days are often great, with few amazing moments in it. It’s blissful to be able to think & feel & actually write them down in words. The sunsets are the prettiest.
I will die for my fam, & also think if I did it just be the hero. I will doubt my own deeds to be sure if I was being fake or not. Weird right?
I say I love him.
I say I love dogs.
I got a tattoo for the puppy who’s not born yet. I will make it sleep beside me, my hands touching it’s. Yes, that’s how much I am gonna love it.
Oh, I feel the excess love I have to offer!
I say I love him.
I say I love dogs.
I never said I love Baba. I idolize him, & that’s something to be done for the whole life. He is in the end of everything. Endings’ what we are trying to make/find, right?
I say I love him.
I say I love dogs.
I like the high mountains & love the voice of the waves. The colors of the trees amaze me as if I am looking at something like that for the first time. The setting Sun makes the prettiest Sky of the day leaving you empty with peace.
I say I love him.
I say I love dogs.
The happiness shared with FAMILY makes unforgettable memories of one’s life. Friends are the chosen family.